Habit # 5; A brief view

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Significance of listening

Ø Few people have training in listening.
Ø If you want to interact effectively with me, you need to influence me.
Ø For influence or appreciation, you first need to understand.
Ø Your character is constantly radiating; communicating.
Ø You should show your actual conduct.

Empathic listening

Ø To be really effective in the habit of interpersonal communication; you have to build the skills of empathic listening.
Ø On the base of character that inspires openness & trust.
Ø You have to build the emotional bank account.
Ø Highest form of listening.
Ø Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival- to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated & to be appreciated.
Ø When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person “psychological air”.
Ø This need for psychological air impacts communication in every area of life.

Seek First to Understand

Ø It is a correct principle manifest in many areas of life; the mark of all true professionals.
Ø The key to good judgment is understanding.
Ø It has the greatest power in interpersonal relations.
Understanding & perception
Ø Our perceptions can be vastly different.
Ø Every person views the world with his\her own paradigm.
Ø In order to communicate effectively, we need to *transcend our individual perceptions.
Ø This is the first step in the process of win \ win.

Then seek to be understood

When you can present your ideas clearly, specifically, visually, & most important, contextually- in the context of a deep understanding of their paradigms (audience) & concerns- you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.

One on one

Ø Habit 5 is powerful because it is right in the middle of your circle of influence. As you focus on your Circle of Influence, you really, deeply understand other people.
Ø It’s an inside-out approach.
Ø When you listen, you become influence-able, & being influence-able is the key to influence others.